I couldn’t help overhearing you and your friend chatting yesterday over lunch (a salad of all choices?!) about Dr. Emily’s Fall Detox. I admit, I was a bit intrigued as your friend raved about her experience during the Spring Detox. And word from down below is that Old Man Liver is gearing up for a 10 day vacation!
What is in this for me, I wondered? I decided to do my own research and did you know that sugar is eliminated during this Detox? You can’t be serious about this!
How would you get through the day without that granola mixed in vanilla yogurt in the morning or your pudding cup at lunch? And pa-lease do not forget that coveted bowl of ice cream before bed! Surely your daily array of treats are worth trading off for the afternoon energy crashes, the unpredictable mood swings and mounting dental bills? Those 10 minutes of sugar rush are worth every bite even if your family cannot rouse you off of the couch for dinner.
What would you do without me in charge? EAT KALE?! Half of your decisions each day are based on satisfying my cravings. And before you go digging around on WebMD and see the negative press about sugar linked to cancer, diabetes and dementia, let me just say that I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand. I will try to tone it down a notch… really…
Well, if you must go through with this, think of all the good times we have had and try to drop me a bit of stevia every once in a while.