Yes, I am that person who leaves one bite of peanut butter at the bottom of the jar and jams two lone rice crackers back into the pack, tucking them away in the cupboard for safe keeping. This behavior baffles my husband. “Just finish it,” he insists. “But I want to know that I can come back for more,” I explain. “Even if it is just one bite.” I want to feel like I have enough.
My personal stories about “enough-ness” have been rising to the surface as winter progresses. Am I investing enough time into my business? Am I doing enough to protect the planet and the healthcare rights of my patients? Am I allowing enough time for self care? These thoughts come with vulnerability and a ruffling of self-confidence. I want to tuck them away with my crackers or stuff them down deep like the last scrape of peanut butter, but by noticing them and the anxiety that accompanies them, I can choose to meet them with calm assurance and grounded curiosity.
When I pass by wilted gardens and leafless trees on my walks through the neighborhood I am reminded that Mother Nature is settling into winter’s scarcity and navigating the lack of sunlight and warmth without fear. She is modeling for us how to accept what is as enough. Mother Nature says, “I’ll take the cold and the wind and the rain and I will transform it all into beauty once spring appears.” With this awareness, I feel suspended between gratitude for winter’s simplicity and impatience for the rewards waiting for us on the other side.
I don’t know if there is such thing as enough, but the stories we tell ourselves about not having enough, not doing enough or not being enough can pull us into a place of comparison, guilt and shame and away from self-acceptance and abundance. It is time to change the story. Let our collective story be one about the wealth of resources within us and around us and the capacity for those resources to transform our own lives and the communities where we live, work, love and pray.
Let us learn from winter how to allow what we have, what we do and who we are to be enough for growth, change and transformation to all take shape in the most miraculous and surprising of ways. Let us root into Love as the renewable energy source that restores and sustains us.
So you can go ahead and eat the last cracker – there will always be enough.